Twenty Sixth

A couple nights ago I was hanging out with my sister in her room. We were just talking, thinking aloud a bit, being friends. It's nice, since it's taken us quite a while to get to this point. But there we were, and I was looking around her room. It's all purple, and all the same color, she's got some OCD and different colored walls apparently bother her. She's got playbills and her favorite notes up from retreats, and just people that she cares about. Her floor is way cleaner than mine, but the stuff she's got out you can tell is important to her, and the bits of organization she had out was nice.

And it got me thinking.

Your room can say a lot about you as a person. I know when I walk into someone's house I get a bit of a feel for them, a room says even more. But it doesn't always describe you accurately. My sisters room, Rachel's room, is just right for her. It says everything she doesn't even think about it saying, and it does so well.

The only thing my room would tell you is that I'm a little all over the place, and I really like books. I guess thats an apt description, though.Apt enough, but it doesn't say everything. I guess it just made me a little uncomfortable, that upon reflection the place where I live, sleep, and spend large quantities of time, wouldn't actually tell you much about who I am.

Maybe thats because even at 20, I don't know much about who I am either. I know things I like, I know things I dislike, and certainly I have more in my room than should just be fit in one room. For the past few years I have, both consciously and unconsciously, been accumulating for the eventual, unavoidable, fact that I will be moving out some day. It's my space for now, but it won't be staying that way for all that much longer.

I'm glad of that fact. Leaving the nest is a necessity. I'll feel multiple things when it happens, but I know glad will be one of them.

But for now, I'm not sure what my room says about me. Does this mean I should wonder what other people get, just from looking at me, just from meeting me? I don't know what comes across. I don't know what people find. I don't know what I let them see.

I just thought it was kind of interesting. And it made me want to clean my room. And mourn my lack of wall space.

Oh. and Happy New Year, I suppose. Away we go.