Third

It feels like my life is nothing but phases sometimes. As though it's not a big whole like I always thought it was supposed to be. Just a bunch of little pieces that became a cumulative existence. Nothing stays the same, and I'm sure it's at least partially my fault. I'm fickle and nuts and commitment, and follow through, and responsibility are not my strong suits. I'm very distractable and I've never really cared abut something enough to never forget about it. Not things I hate, not even things I love. Nothing has ever constantly stayed at the front of who I am.

It's no great surprise when people have a hard time understanding or getting a grasp on me. I mean sometimes...often...I dont even know what I'm going to do or how I'm going to react. How's that for volatile. Me, or anyone else, can claim what i'd/they'd do in a situation til they're blue in the face, but til it actually happens no one is ever really going to know or be sure. What matters is the moment, and that we all have them. I know what I should do is stop expecting that I should already know myself at 19. I have a lot of experiences or have and things yet to do, and all that other cliche crap.

But honestly, the me I don't know still has a lot of changing to do.