Tenth

It's a hard thing sometimes. Generally, being single doesn't bother me. Aside from the one person I'd say yes to, who has no idea, I'm not even looking. But sometimes, just sometimes, it truly tanks.

There's this song by Snow Patrol, 'Open Your Eyes', and really I love it quite a lot. I can't seem to turn it off for the past couple of days, actually. But I also can't help that it makes me feel lonely and sad. It's like a slap in the face, and a big ol' reminder that nobody cares about me like that.

But I hate feeling like this, because it makes me feel like I'm discrediting my friends, which isn't the case at all. It's just not the point. But none of my friends needs me to open my eyes just so they can see them. Not 'because I need you to look into mine.'

Corny? Yea, maybe a little bit. A lot, even. I don't really care though. A large portion of romance is about corn. My favorite couples are the ones that kind of make me want to throw up. I actually get sad for the couples that don't nauseate me, at least a little.

I don't understand it most of the time. I don't bring it up a whole lot, I only complain about it occasionally but sometimes I can't help getting irked that I'm single. On a normal day I'd never admit it, but I'm kind of wonderful. I know I'm no looker, but I know I'm not as bad as I personally think I am. My face is pretty cute, nice enough smile, and eyes that are worth someone wanting to look at them.

And though it's highly rare for me to admit it, I have quite the personality. There is good and bad to it, I'd never claim otherwise, and yea. I'm a bit of a nutter. Still, on most days I have more good than bad. I have a big heart and spend most of my time caring about other people. I have good taste when it comes to most things, and I love to listen. I also like to love.

But it doesn't matter? No, thats not it. It just hasn't hit the right person at the right time yet. And really, thats fine. God has a plan and it's bigger than I could comprehend. But that doesn't mean I'm not sad sometimes. Nineteen years is a lot of time and bunches of waiting. And patience is a virtue because virtues aren't easy. It would be nice if he came along soon, but if he doesn't, I'll wait. I'll be fine. I might get grumpy sometimes, and sad other times, sometimes it may even make my angry, but all of that's allowed. It's not bad, it's not frowned upon, it's not forbidden. It's completely alright. And I know why, it all comes down to the end.

Because it takes a special guy to say, "I won't waste a minute without you."